Unhealthy Obsession
by omgwtfkitteh
Summary: There are some things Dwicky really needs to learn to let go of. [One sided ZaDwiR]


Aliens, the foundation for most things paranormal. Most people believed in the strange Martians that came from Outer Space, or they wrote them off as complete fiction. At one point I had been so mesmerized by the fact there may have been other life out there. I would read magazines, watch TV programs, even stay up late to watch the sky for any tiny trace of the visitors. It wouldn't matter if I saw nothing. It was the experience and the excitement that I was in it for.

Even as I got older, I admit that I still believed in all of it. People around me, friends and family, they would worry about my hobby and say that I was wasting my time as well as life. I never thought so. It was something that was so interesting to me. Everything that I did when I was a kid carried on through my time as an adult just for that one moment where I would see what I wished to see.

It never happened, even when I needed them most.

One small incident caused me to give up everything. I turned my back on all of it just like it had turned its back on me. I decided to lead the boring life everyone around me led and never go back to what once was. I believed it to be better that way. It may not have been as exciting, but at least I didn't have to constantly be reminded of what once was. Slowly, every thought of aliens and anything else paranormal left my mind. I was one of the _normal_ people.

It all stayed that way, until one particular night.

I could remember everything about that time. The way his ship landed. Every word that was said. Right down to the exact moment I left. It might have seemed a bit weird to anyone else, but I felt if I didn't remember every moment perfectly then I would wake up and it would all be a dream. I saw so much on my time away that at times it seemed like too much for my mind to handle. So many different races, ships, and planets. I was still getting over the fact that I was actually living with aliens.

While all of it was exciting I still couldn't forget how it came to be. That one small being that I almost had a complete heart attack over as I watched him come forth from his ship. It was amazing and I had wanted to see him again. The ones I traveled with said it was crazy. They said that Irkens weren't a race to be messed with. I didn't see what the big deal was with one small visit.

Sometimes I really did curse my obsessions.

It was supposed to be short and sweet. I remembered the freakish green house from it's own file at Skool. Zim, who I had at the time thought to be just a normal child, didn't have nearly as big a file as one certain kid, but he was known to have strange outbursts during class. I didn't realize that when I went inside it would mean the end of my freedom. Nothing mattered to me at the moment. Not life or death, the latter I was told would more than likely happen.

When I had seen what had become of the once small Irken it had caused every word I planned to say to vanish from my brain. It wasn't Zim that stood before me. It couldn't have been. The Zim I remembered barely made it to my knees. The Irken in front of me nearly reached my shoulders. I knew enough about space, and almost every race out there, to know that Irkens didn't just sprout up in such a quick span of time.

"What do you want, Stink-meat?"

That voice and those words, it had to of been Zim, and before I knew it I was spilling everything I wanted to say. How much I had wanted to come back. How I couldn't stop thinking about him. That I just wanted to see him one more time. In the end I realized how incredibly weird it all sounded, but I couldn't take the words back, and for some reason I didn't want to.

I should have kept my mouth shut, because the look he gave me after the words spilled was something dark and vicious. Even on that one night I had never remembered him looking so evil as he did standing before me years later. Maybe they had been right and I was soon to just be a corpse on his floor. The thought had me swallowing hard and trying to come up with anything I could to get out of the situation.

My thoughts shut down when he grabbed me and I could feel claws digging into my skin, even with the restriction of gloves. I couldn't breathe and my vision was becoming a blur. I never knew he could, would, be so strong. I tried to speak, but words were failing me and only becoming gasps for breath. In one simple squeeze or one simple twist I was sure he could have been done with me and went on with his life as if I had never been there at all. That was when the words finally came, as weak as they were, and they started it all.

"P-Please, don't k-kill me. I'll d-do anything. Just let me stay."

The squeezing stopped and I was grateful for it, but as it did we both stared at each other for what felt like hours. The only sound in the room had been my heavy breathing and a small whir, which I was sure had to be coming from the house. No. His base. It was unnerving when what had been a cruel look, slowly shaped into an even crueler grin on his face. I wondered just what was going through his head and wanted to question him, but I didn't have long to wait.

He threw me aside as if I was a piece of trash and before I knew it I was being incased in a simple plastic prison that I just barely fit into. I watched the scenery move around me as I was taken down each level of Zim's base. Even in my position I couldn't help being interested in everything I saw. Part of my brain was screaming at me that I was an idiot for going to this Irken's place and getting captured, but the rest of me just didn't seem to care. I had expected the worst to happen. At least I was alive.

I was told I would be a slave. Kept in a prison and only let out when Zim saw it fit. I would do anything for him just as I said I would. If he needed something stolen, I would steal it. If he needed a guinea pig for an experiment, I was there. If he needed anything to take his anger out on, that's what I was for. I endured anything he threw at me just for the sake of staying with him and watching every single thing he did. I forgot I once ever had a free life.

Over time the prison disappeared and I was left to my own devices. It was never about trust, I knew that. Zim just got sick of dragging me in and out of it day in and day out. He knew I wasn't stupid enough to go against him and I knew he had enough weapons that could vaporize me on spot. So, I took to watching him each day, standing in the background as he worked on everything and anything.

I knew what he was after. Ever since that night I knew what Zim's mission was. I had to admit that I wasn't all that thrilled to learn that one day the planet I stood on would be wiped out. Slave or not, I really did want to stop him, or at least try to reason with him. Of course, I didn't expect it to be easy, but I didn't expect it to be such a dangerous situation when brought up, either.

The topic started out slowly. I didn't want to just blurt it out in the open. Small questions as to what he was working on, or what he was planning to do that particular day and time. He would either answer me or give me the cold shoulder. Answering me meant I was allowed to press on and bit by bit it finally gave me the opportunity to sneak it all in. The hope that he would stop what he was doing. Maybe the hope that he would stop for me.

I was so foolish to think such a thing.

I had bruises from his anger, scars and such, but this was different. He was beyond angry, he was complete and utterly enraged. There was nothing I could do to stop what I knew was coming except plead and beg that he listen to me. It never worked before and I should have known it would be no different with the request I had just asked. I had to make it up to him somehow. I had to show that I was still loyal to him. That I was still his.

I got to my knees before he had a chance to strike me and there I stayed. Not once did I look at him or move a muscle. I wanted to show him that I was still obedient, and he still had every right to control me. I never wanted him to let me go even if he had every right to do so. I waited, knowing the silence wouldn't last and only pain would come. It shocked me when there was nothing. I heard footsteps, but they were moving away. I was afraid to look up. So afraid that I would anger him further than I already had. I didn't move at all that entire time. Not even when I heard him leave the room.

The conversation was never brought up again, but the abuse never stopped. It never bothered me because I was still his. I took it, but I still latched on emotionally, never physically. That would have just brought more abuse. I would continue to be a puppet until he tired of me, or, until he actually succeeded in his mission.

Regret never once crossed my mind.


End file.
